The Lands of Meeriad

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Blonde Jokes You have probably heard all of these, but here are some blonde jokes. Why does it take a blonde 3 hours to drink her orange squash? Because the label says concentrate. What's the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? I've no idea - I've never seen either. What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel? An air bag. You're on an overloaded, sinking lifeboat with some blondes, who do you throw overboard? Yourself. What do you see if you look into a blonde's eyes? The back of her head. Blondes are so stupid, one got locked in a furniture store for the night and decided to sleep on the floor. How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday? Tell her a joke on Tuesday. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Why did a blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side. What do you call a fly buzzing around in a blondes head? A Space invader. Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes go in first. 2 blondes were spotted trying to open the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Blonde 1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!!! Blonde 2: Well you'd better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top's down! No offence if you are blonde.	Chris Storms 1st In Command of SG&C Mercenary Immortal 5/3/2002 10:57:09 AM Level: 20 Experience: 32580 Total Posts: 1382
RE: Blonde Jokes i know a joke (not blonde related)   How many Israelis does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six-four to storm the room and take control of it, one to forcibly eject the old bulb, and one to screw the new bulb in. What is big and purple, is covered with green fur, has 13 arms and 34 legs, eats celery and goes "Borf borf!"? - Nothing.	Jake Conner 3rd in command of SG&C Mercenary Immortal 5/3/2002 4:34:18 PM Level: 19 Experience: 31340 Total Posts: 1088
RE: Blonde Jokes uh, that last one didn't make ANY sinse.... Did you make it up?	Chris Storms 1st In Command of SG&C Mercenary Immortal 5/3/2002 8:34:09 PM Level: 20 Experience: 32580 Total Posts: 1382
RE: Blonde Jokes yea..i was bored one day, so i made it up	Jake Conner 3rd in command of SG&C Mercenary Immortal 5/13/2002 9:44:39 AM Level: 19 Experience: 31340 Total Posts: 1088
RE: Blonde Jokes Here is a blonde joke my neighbor told me... as you can see it is very long. A trucker was going down the road one day and a blonde began to pass him up, as soon as she got ahead of him, she slowed down. The trucker sped around past her. The blonde then began to pass him up again, as soon as she got around him, she slammed on her brakes and almost causes a wreck. The trucker is beside himself with anger, so he speeds ahead of her and runs her off the road. They both stop their car and step out. The trucker is still very mad, and knowing she is a blonde, he comes up with a plan... He takes out a piece of chalk and draws a circle in the road. He says "Walk over there and stand in the middle of the circle, if you cross it I will kill you!" The blonde stands there, excited. The trucker runs back to his truck and gets a knife, and begins to slice the tires of the blonde's car. She starts laughing. This makes the trucker even madder. He grabs a brick from his truck and throws it through the window. She laughs even harder. Now the trucker is furious. He grabs a sledghammer and some explosives and completely demolishes her car. She is rolling with laughter. The trucker is confused, he demolished her car in the middle of a uncommonly used interstate and she may be stranded here for weeks. He just cant take it anymore, he walks over to the blonde and says,"what is problem you moron!? I just demolished your car!! Why are you laughing!?" The blonde stands up and snickers,"I stepped out of the circle five times and you didn't see me, hahaha!" Here is a handfull I picked up. Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and we are thankful for..." "Wrong!" interrupts St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus. " St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?" The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the Last Supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter." how do blonde brain cells die? Alone How do you change a blonde's mind? a1:blow in her ear a2:buy her another beer Why did the blonde decide only to have three children? She read in a magazine that one out of every four children born where chinese What have you found if there is a dead blonde in your closet? A hide and seek winner How do you steal a blonde's window seat on a plane to london? Tell her the seats going to london are all in the middle row How do you amuse a blonde for hours? Write "please turn over" on a piece of paper Why do most blondes work seven days a week? So you dont have to retrain them on monday How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave at her If it hurts, it means you're still alive	Gorath Gun Expert/Howling Wind Agent Mercenary 5/13/2002 8:10:18 PM Level: 7 Experience: 2188 Total Posts: 263
RE: Blonde Jokes Q: A Brunett, Blonde, and Red Head jumped off a bridge at the same time. What one would land last, and why?	Chris Storms 1st In Command of SG&C Mercenary Immortal 5/16/2002 9:48:51 AM Level: 20 Experience: 32580 Total Posts: 1382
RE: Blonde Jokes I can't believe no ones answered this yet. A:The blonde because she would have to stop and ask for directions. Fire!!! FIRE!!!!! AHAHAAAA!!!!	Belial Terrorist Not Banned 7/24/2002 3:15:08 PM Level: 3 Experience: 568 Total Posts: 219
RE: Blonde Jokes YES, YOU ARE CORRECT!!!	Chris Storms 1st In Command of SG&C Mercenary Immortal 7/29/2002 12:41:23 AM Level: 20 Experience: 32580 Total Posts: 1382
RE: Blonde Jokes I'm back in time for the blonde Jokes I told these at a school trip and after one all the girls chased me around the cabins. It was fun and one time they ran right past me and I doubled back it was funny because they kept going for a wile and then say me. A blonde brunet and a red head were stranded on an island about three miles from Jamica. the brunet got up and swam to the island. O few weeks later they other two got a letter from the brunet. [Hey come to the island the food is great] So the red head swims to the island. A few weeks later the blonde gets another later [Hey come to the island There are a lot of cute guys]. So the blonde gets up and swims half way says "I'm to tired to go on and swam back" Ok hers the one Three blondes were walking down the bank of the Mississippi River tring to get to the other side. One of the blondes stub here toe on a lamp. So she rubs it and a genini pops out and said "I will grant you each one wish" So the first one says I wish to be a hundred times smarter so the genine turned her into a red hair and she swam across the river. The secound one wishen to be 1000 times smarter so the gine turned her to a brunete and she built a rave and paddled acroos the water. So the third one went I wish I was 1 million times smarter. So the geini turned her to a mand and she walcked across the brige. No offencs to anyone. I'll do almost anythig for a hand full of creds.	neyjoey Killer for hirer Assassin 8/5/2002 12:15:19 PM Level: 2 Experience: 410 Total Posts: 96

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